Never Fake it ‘til You Make it: a Guide to Pleasure

The female orgasm is surrounded by controversy and remains the burning question women hear so many times: “Did you cum?”. It’s a hot topic that seems almost commonplace within heterosexual encounters, leaving lovers feeling insecure and women feeling frustrated. Here’s our extensive guide on why you should never fake orgasms, how to give yourself an orgasm if you’re struggling to climax, and how you can help your playmate climax.

Is an orgasm good for you?

Yes. Yes. And YES. Orgasms are SO good for you, and we absolutely refuse to shut up about it. What are the benefits of an orgasm? Well, they’re endless honestly: they boost your mood, improve sleep, and reduce stress for starters. There are so many health benefits of orgasms that we can’t bear the thought of anyone faking another orgasm ever again.

What does it mean when someone is faking it?

If you suspect that someone is faking their orgasm with you, it isn’t necessarily a red flag, a reflection on you or a cause for deep concern. Lots of people struggle to orgasm for many reasons. We live in a busy world with hectic lifestyles, and it’s so easy for us to struggle to get into the moment sometimes.

Many will fake orgasms simply because they don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings. At one time or another, we’ve all been guilty of being too scared to speak up in the bedroom because we didn’t want our partner to feel as if they couldn’t satisfy us.

How can you tell when someone is faking it?

The best way to tell if someone is faking an orgasm is just to ask them. Opening a direct line of communication is healthy and informative for both parties.

Try Honesty

Being vulnerable is scary, but being radically honest and open with your partner is one of the hottest and most liberating things you can do for yourself and the overall health of your sex life. We totally understand how embarrassing talking about our sexual desires or needs can be, so breaking the ice with some sexy games can be a fun and silly way to laugh through the awkwardness. Or you could show then what you like when pleasuring yourself either with your hands or your bullet vibrator or dildo.

Communication is sexy

Whether this takes place inside or outside the bedroom at first, communicating your needs will build a solid foundation for earth-shattering orgasms and strong relationships. If communicating your needs to your playmate or partner leads to constant conflict with little resolve: then we’re sorry to tell you (we’re not sorry) that you’re having sex with the wrong person, and you should dump them and find someone receptive to your needs.

What are the best sex toys for an orgasm?

Exploring the world of sex toys is a fun and naughty way to reach new highs of orgasms and turn up the heat in the bedroom.

Sex Toys for Her

It’s completely natural to need an extra hand in reaching climax; many women are unable to orgasm from penetration alone and need extra stimulation to orgasm. With over 10,000 nerve endings in the clitoris alone, we can’t get enough of the toys that focus on the little pleasure dome like our clitoral suction toys.

Want to have the best orgasm of your life? Buy one of our massage wands and thank us later. Explore our full range of clitoral stimulation toys for your next big O.

Sex Toys for Him

We love a man who isn’t too shy to explore toys, adding a cock ring to the mix of solo play or sex with another will help keep things (his thing, most notably) rock hard. For the most intense of orgasms that will hit the (P-)spot, indulge in some P-spot stimulation with a prostate massager. Find out how to massage the prostate and have the most biblical orgasm with our nifty guide to the P-Spot.

Sex Toys for Couples

You know what they say: couples that play together, have really great orgasms together (or something like that?)

Our sex toys for couples have something for every couple, from remote-controlled vibrators to double-vibrating cock rings – creating good vibrations for both of you.

Why Can’t I Orgasm?

Between hectic lifestyles, hormonal changes, and daily responsibilities - there are many reasons why you may not be able to reach orgasm, like:

Depression and anxiety: Low moods and mood disorders contribute towards the inability to orgasm, as well as stress and confidence issues.

Medication and hormonal changes: Certain medications and contraceptives can make it difficult to orgasm. We recommend talking to your GP if you feel that your medication is impacting your sex life.

Stress: Stress is a huge factor in low libido and climaxing. When we’re stressed it’s hard to focus or centre ourselves into a state of pleasure.

Why can’t I Climax with a Partner?

Able to orgasm alone but rarely with a partner? Getting into the pleasure zone and reaching climax will look and feel different for everyone, and what you may be able to achieve during solo play may feel impossible when you’re between the sheets with another. It’s not uncommon for our bodies to become wired to climax in certain positions and environments, and if we’re experiencing any of the problems above then it can be extra tricky. So, what can you do about it? Here are some healthy suggestions we swear by.

Get out of your Head

If you’re having a hard time reaching climax, the best medicine is to throw out any expectations. Putting pressure on yourself is only going to make things harder (or softer, if you know what we’re saying). It’s not uncommon for expectations of sex to be unrealistic, especially when you consider the availability of pornography. Tune out from unrealistic porn, and tune into yourself. What feels good?

Solo Play

At Ann Summers we’re pro-solo play whether you’re single or blissfully coupled. If you’re unsure of how to orgasm during sex or even how to orgasm at all, you should get to know your body and what turns you on by exploring yourself when it’s just you and your fingers.

Set the Mood

Setting the mood for a night of pleasure may be just the trick to unlocking amazing orgasms. Spice up your next night in with our date night lingerie, because you’re a snack anyway, but wrapping yourself up in a slinky babydoll will have your playmate feasting on you. Build tensions further with some sensation play - adding a blindfold into the bedroom can heighten the senses and help you focus on reaching blissful heights. Incorporating a little pinwheel or flogger will really turn up the intensity and have you feeling things you’ve never felt before.

Patience

Above all, patience will be the ultimate key to learning how to climax. Getting tense or frustrated with yourself will only hold you back from the best orgasms you’ve ever had. Just relax and have fun with it, you gorgeous thing.

Take Yourself Over the Edge with Edging

We’re big fans of edging - HUGE, even. Sure, quickies are fun, but sex shouldn’t always be a race to orgasm. Whether you’re teasing yourself solo or teasing your beau: edging is a playful way to reach a beautiful, earth-shattering orgasm. Want to give it a try? Let us teach you how to edge with our saucy guide to edging.

The Best Sex Positions for Female Orgasm

Clitoral orgasms are arguably the most intense type of orgasm that women can experience, so any positions that involve grinding or pressure on the clit are delicious positions to get into. Some sex positions to try for a wave of orgasms are:

Cowgirl

Giddy up, girlie. Climb aboard and ride your playmate like there’s no tomorrow. The cowgirl is the old faithful position for so many; a timeless classic if you will. The motion of rocking back and forth combined with the pressure placed on the clit will have you galloping towards your next climax.

Scissoring

One for the ladies. Sit between your lover’s thighs and rock your hips back and forth at a pace that feels really good for you both. Build up a sweet friction between you until you welcome wave upon wave of multiple orgasms.

The Lovers Lock

The hetero-take on scissoring. Lay on your back with hips slightly tilted, whilst your partner straddles one of your legs and slowly enters you with your other leg wrapped around their waist or straight over their shoulder. The face-to-face contact allows opportunities for sweet, short kisses or a hot and heavy make-out session whilst your clit gets some serious love from all of the thrusting.

You’re way too sexy to be unfulfilled in the bedroom a minute longer. Faking your orgasm will only ever end in you leaving your sexual encounters feeling flat and unsatisfied. Exploring yourself and being open with your playmates will pave the way for incredible connections and orgasms.

Time to explore...