Spanking Guide - Naughty Never Felt so Good.

Spanking has become such a huge hit in the bedroom and it is an incredible way to experiment with dominance, spice up your foreplay or experience the heightened pleasure that goes hand-in-hand with a little bit of impact. Are you tempted? So read on for our complete spanking guide and learn how to spank your sexual partners - bend over and get it right!

What is Spanking?

Mixing pleasure and pain, spanking is when you use either a hand or bondage equipment to slap against the skin. It increases sensitivity to that particular area and can heighten the recipient’s pleasure. Spanking can be part of any sexual play or can be incorporated into your BDSM scenes for an extra level of dominance.

Our bodies are actually hard-wired to take a little pain with our pleasure. Oxytocin is a hormone that gets released when you're aroused; which has earned itself the nickname of the "love" hormone. Studies have shown that oxytocin can actually increase your pain tolerance. So something that might feel like a little too much when you're not in the mood suddenly becomes an irresistible lip-biting sting behind closed doors.

It's also really, intimate; you're putting a whole lot of trust in your partner when you're at each other's mercy, which can be incredibly sexy.

Why do people like spanking?

Dominate your partner and telling them about your fantasies can be unbelievably sexy. It suggests that you are in control of your own kinks and desires and know exactly what you want in the bedroom. Spanking releases adrenaline and dopamine, sending blood to the surface of the skin and making the nerve endings become more alert, giving the receiver heightened sensitivity and pleasure.

But spanking doesn’t need to be as wild as you’re thinking it to be. A cheeky bit of light spanking foreplay is bound to get you into naughty spirits before the main event!

Getting Started with Spanking

To know how to give a spanking, start by discussing boundaries and safe words. If you’re both into it, you can begin by giving a nice and gentle slap during sex. If they enjoy it, you can ask if they want more, or ask them to do the same to you, safe in the knowledge that it's not going to shock them. Once you get more comfortable with spanking, you can always choose to ramp up the excitement by exploring light impact play with a Beginners Paddle, then move on to more advanced levels in your own time.

The do's of spanking

DO warm up beforehand - Light pats and rubs with your hand will help spanking for beginners get the excitement started; as the skin pinks up the blood circulation increases, which helps to increase the sensation during impact play. Start light and work your way up to a hard spanking.

DO make sure everything is agreed upon - The tools being used and the frequency of hitting; it all needs to be decided before you play. And, above all else, make sure you are both aware of the safeword - the word you will say to stop all activity straight away.

DO be mindful - Notice your partners reactions, including any noises or movements they may make, to ensure they’re always enjoying the session.

The don'ts of spanking

DON'T hit in the no-go areas - There are certain areas of the body where spanking is acceptable, and others where it most definitely is not. We'll go into more detail on those soon, but it's important to never cross those boundaries. Not only could you make the receiver angry, but you could also do them some serious bodily harm.

DON'T push your partner past their limits - Safe words are there for a reason. If you hear your agreed-upon word then stop all spanking immediately and jump straight into the aftercare.

DON'T overdo it - Don't get carried away and release any tension you may be feeling on your partner, which means controlling how often you hit and your intensity. This is meant to be an enjoyable part of sex or a wider BDSM scene.

What should I use to spank?

Variety is the spice of life, don't you agree? Which is why it's fantastic that there are so many options out there for you to choose from when it comes to spanking. Each of the different "tools" that you can use offers something new, so choose your arsenal wisely.

Bare hands

Nothing beats the sting of skin on skin. Using your hands means you can completely control the impact on your partner. Fingers spread to cover a larger surface area? Or held together for a sharper spank? How much of the palm? We'll leave the finer details up to you.

Floggers

At first glance, floggers might look really intense and a little intimidating. The curling strands seem to promise pain with every impact, but our signature faux leather floggers are actually one of the gentlest tools out there - depending on how you use them, of course. Some find flogging to be sexually stimulating whilst others enjoy the physical and emotional experience of submissive role play. You can drag the ends of the flogger lightly over the skin to build anticipation, before bringing them down in a cascade of tingling pain. For maximum impact, practice getting a quick flick of the wrist to get a real bite.

Spanking Paddles

If you’re looking for an exhilarating experience, a spanking paddle will do just that. Big, flat and wide paddles make a loud and satisfying slap when they make contact with the skin, and they allow the wielder to spread the impact out over a wide area. This can make the pain less intense and focused than crops or whips, but a paddle for spanking has a little more power than a hand, which makes them perfect for spanking beginners who are starting to explore a little more. We’ve got something for everyone with our range of paddles, with smaller PU ones to test the waters, or larger, wider ones to explore your kinky side, take a look to find the perfect one for you.

Riding Crops

Invented for horses but perfect for taking your partner for a ride, a faux leather riding crop is a bondage essential. Crops have a small surface area on the tip, and the flexible swish of the handle means you can deliver seriously sharp, sweet, and stinging swats. Practice the art of flicking the wrist so that you only use the tip of the crop to hit that sweet spot or use it to gently trace the skin or the nipples for teasing sensations. Perfect for spanking addicts who can handle something a little more extreme, we have a variety of crops to suit your style.

Whips

Whips are the most powerful spanking tools you will find. Literally lashings of fun. Bondage whips are only for the experienced as it takes a fair bit of practice to control that much length and be able to land your hits exactly where you want them. Once you eventually get the hang of them, BDSM whips can really heighten the power dynamics at play, giving you both that extra buzz.

Positions for spanking

Assume the position! But which one to choose? When positioning your partner, remember to think of both their comfort and yours, especially if you’re planning on a luxuriously long session of pain and punishment.

The warm up

They're in the position and you're ready to get started, so start out by gently massaging the bum and thighs, give the area a good squeeze every now and then to really increase the circulation and blood flow. Build up your spanks from light to heavy in a form of spanking foreplay; you'll know the skin is ready for more when it starts to blush a lovely pink.

Lying face down

For the beginners, we recommend lying face down on the bed - maybe with a couple of pillows underneath your hips to raise things up a little. It's comfortable and relaxing, while keeping everything nice and exposed.

Over the knee spanking

Over the knee spanking is one of the most intimate positions, as well as having that classic disciplinarian vibe - so hot. It's perfect if you're using hands, paddles or crops, or even for restraining the arms and legs if you're taking things to another level.

Doggy-style

During sex or not, doggy-style can really help to enhance the sensations that you are feeling. The skin is stretched much tighter so you will really feel every strike. Plus, it adds to the power play if you’re taking it there, with the Sub on their hands and knees and the Dom stood over them.

Be Adventurous with Spanking

If spanking tools alone aren’t enough to help you live out your naughtiest fantasies, add some more BDSM essentials into the mix! They say removing one of your senses will heighten your other senses. Blindfold your Sub to increase the anticipation of being spanked or handcuff them to restrict their movement and make them feel powerless. Be creative with the BDSM kit you choose and incorporate them into your spanking sessions.

Spanking aftercare

Once your spanking scene has come to an end, it’s important to take some time to be gentle with your Sub. This is what those in the BDSM community call ‘aftercare’. Going from a high, adrenaline filled scene to a sudden end can make your partner feel slightly fragile and they may need some gentle reassurance. Ensure your Sub is comfortable, discuss the scene together as you softly stroke and massage the areas that have been spanked, this can help to minimize bruising whilst keeping your Sub feeling content.

Now that you’ve entered the world of spanking, why not take a look at our full range of paddles, whips and crops to find some tools to test the waters with. Follow our guide for the best spanking tips and techniques to hit the right spot and explore what BDSM has to offer.