Managing Relationship Anxiety

Relationships can sometimes feel like a rollercoaster ride: exhilarating, but also a bit nerve-wracking. Ever find yourself spiralling into anxious thoughts about your relationship? You’re not alone, experiencing anxiety in a relationship is completely natural.

What is Relationship Anxiety?

Relationship anxiety is that nagging feeling of doubt or fear about your relationship's stability and future. It’s totally natural to have occasional worries, but when those thoughts start taking over, it’s time to address them head-on.

How to Deal with Relationship Anxiety

Ever wonder why anxious thoughts keep popping up? The answer might lie in your attachment style. Developed way back in childhood through interactions with our caregivers, these attachment styles play a huge role in how we connect with our partners and others. There are four main types, but you can totally be a mix of more than one too:

Secure attachment: a secure attachment means you’re comfortable with intimacy and independence. You have fewer worries and more trust, and even when your partner is having an off day - you don’t take it personally. Because everyone has their off days. The trick is knowing you’ve got the resilience to handle them and bounce back stronger.

Anxious attachment:
you might have an anxious attachment style if you constantly find yourself in need of reassurance from your partner. This can crank up relationship anxiety, making you worry about how your partner is feeling and your future together. But don’t fret. Instead, open up about your needs and let your partner in on your feelings.

Avoidant attachment:
are you the “I need some space” type? You value your independence, sometimes to the point of keeping your partner at arm’s length. This can stir up anxiety for both of you. Finding a sweet spot between alone time and together time can help ease those anxious vibes.

Disorganised attachment:
Feeling a bit hot and cold? A disorganised attachment style means you might swing between wanting closeness and pushing your partner away. This can create a whirlwind of anxiety, but recognising these patterns is the first step to calming the storm.

How to Deal with Relationship Anxiety

Identifying and recognising your attachment style is the first step towards managing relationship anxiety. If you identify with an anxious or avoidant style, acknowledging these patterns allows you to work on them. Therapy can be beneficial in understanding and modifying these behaviours. In a healthy relationship with open communication and understanding, you can help each other address and mitigate the anxieties arising from your attachment styles. And from there you can:

Stay grounded in the present:
anxiety loves to mess with your head, especially when focusing on the future or digging up past worries. So, try and focus on the present – enjoy the moments you share with your partner right now. Look at their actions and words in the present, and savor the love you’re experiencing today.

Indulge in self-care:
you’re amazing, and taking care of yourself should always be a priority. Engage in activities that make you happy and boost your confidence. Whether it’s hitting the gym, enjoying a hobby, or pampering yourself with a spa day, a strong relationship starts with a strong you.

Set realistic relationship goals:
forget comparing your relationship to others – the grass isn’t always greener! Understand that no relationship is perfect. Embrace the imperfections and love the quirks that make your partnership unique. Realistic expectations lead to a happier, anxiety-free you.

Create a support system:
lean on your friends, family, or a therapist for support. Sometimes, just talking things out with someone who understands can lighten the load. Don’t be afraid to seek professional help if your anxiety feels overwhelming – they’ve got the tools to help you manage it.

Spice things up:
a little spice can go a long way in easing anxiety and keeping the connection strong. Sex toys can add some excitement to your love life. A fun and adventurous relationship can help you feel more secure and connected.

Practice mindfulness:
mindfulness exercises, like meditation or deep-breathing techniques, can help calm your anxious thoughts. Take a few minutes each day to center yourself and clear your mind. This can help you stay grounded and present in your relationship.

Write it down:
journaling your thoughts and feelings can be incredibly therapeutic. It’s a great way to process your emotions and track your progress over time. Plus, it gives you a safe space to vent and reflect without judgment.

Take the small wins:
acknowledge and celebrate the positive moments in your relationship. Did you handle a tough conversation well? Did you have a fantastic date night? Celebrate those wins! They’ll remind you of the strength and love in your partnership.

Lean on love:
at the end of the day, love is your greatest ally. Trust in the love you share with your partner. Lean on it, let it guide you, and remember that you’re in this together.

Does Relationship Anxiety Go Away?

Relationship anxiety can fade over time, especially as you and your partner grow more comfortable and secure with each other. However, it might take some consistent effort and communication to fully overcome it.

Is it Relationship Anxiety or Am I Not in Love?

Relationship anxiety often causes us to question our feelings. If you find joy and connection in your relationship but also feel anxious, it's likely relationship anxiety. If the anxiety stems from fundamental incompatibilities or lack of affection, it might be worth reevaluating your relationship.

Can Relationship Anxiety Make You Fall Out of Love?

Anxiety can cloud your judgment and make you question your feelings. Addressing your anxiety head-on and working through it can help you see your relationship more clearly and rekindle that spark.

How Long Does Relationship Anxiety Last?

Wondering how long your relationship anxiety might stick around? There’s no set timeline;, it varies from person to person. For some, it might last a few months, while for others, it could be longer. The key is to actively work on managing it through communication, self-care, and possibly professional guidance. If you suffer from anxiety, it can totally contribute to your relationship anxiety. This type of anxiety might not completely disappear, but with a healthy relationship and an understanding partner, it’s something you can learn to manage. Together, you can create a supportive environment where both of you feel seen, heard, and valued. It’s all about teamwork and love.

Love,
AS x