Do you keep a tally of your sexual escapades or are you a “less is more” type of person? Either way, you’ve probably heard of sexual body count. Some people may keep track of the steamy encounters they’ve had but don’t worry, we’re not here to judge.
We’re going to answer the question ‘what is body count?’ and the reasons people might keep score of their sexual adventures. There’s a lot more to the body count game than meets the eye.
What is a body count? In a nutshell, your body count is the number of people you’ve had sex with. Some people may parade or wear their body count like a badge of honour whilst some prefer to keep it a bit more private. YouGov reports that the average number of sexual partners for men is five, while for women, the average number is three. Whether that number is a high body count to you or low, ultimately, your body count is just a number. It doesn’t define you. The important thing to remember is that when you’re having sex, it’s because you want to, not because of a number.
People keep track of their body count for many reasons. One of the main reasons people do it is because they want to keep a record of their sexual experiences. It’s also a common practice for sexual health clinics to ask you the number of sexual partners you’ve had since your previous visit so that they can figure out the potential risks of STI transmissions.
Your sexual body count can have an interesting effect on your relationship. Some people have no interest in sharing their body count or knowing that of their partner, for others, it could be an elephant in the room. You might think that telling your partner your ‘number’ is a risk, if it’s particularly high, but the fact is, the life you led and the fun you had before they came along is none of their business and certainly not something they (or anyone else) have a right to judge you for.
Your sexual history is just one small piece of the puzzle when it comes to relationships and as we’ve already said; that number doesn’t define you. It’s the emotional connection, the trust and respect you have with your partner that really matters. And if you don’t want to tell them, don’t feel pressured to. If they push you on it? Hold them accountable for not respecting your boundaries.
The stigma of body count is both a sensitive and controversial topic. To be honest, many people still hold on to the outdated idea that a high body count is something to be ashamed of, especially for women. Historically, women who’ve had many sexual partners were labelled as “promiscuous” while men with high body counts were respected and praised as “players.” This double standard has been pushed by social norms and cultural beliefs which has contributed to harmful stigma around sexuality.
The truth is, everyone has their own sexual journey and preferences, and there’s nothing inherently wrong with having multiple partners, as long as it’s done responsibly and consensually. The stigma surrounding body count can leave a person feeling shame, guilt and self-doubt. That’s why it’s important to drop the stigma and strive to create a positive environment of acceptance and respect for individual choices. Let’s celebrate the joys of sexual pleasure. After all, there’s nothing sexier than self-confidence and owning your body and sexuality!
So, to go back to our first question, does body count matter? No, it doesn’t. While keeping track of your body count can be a fun way to recall your sexual experiences, it’s important to remember that sex is about more than just numbers. It’s about creating intimate and enjoyable moments and emotional or purely physical connections. It’s about making sure you and your partner/s feel comfortable, and everyone’s needs are being met.
If tracking your sexual body count brings you joy, then all power to you. Just remember to focus on building those meaningful connections, exploring your desires and embracing the intimacy that comes with sexual experiences. While many people declare it’s ‘quality over quantity’, if you can get quantity at great quality, why not embrace it!
For more insightful information, visit our sexual wellbeing page to get to know your body. Or spice up your sex life with our better sex and sex positions guides.
Having conversations about sex with your partner can feel like a difficult thing to do but could hold the key to an amazing sex life. Find out how to approach it here.
Although porn and popular culture may try and tell us different, sex isn’t all about penetration. Find out more here.
If your partner is struggling for confidence in the bedroom, a little support can go a long way. Find out how with our guide.
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