How can I make myself orgasm without toys or porn?

When we gathered your questions on sex, we wanted to get you the best answers. So we teamed up with qualified Sex and Relationship Therapist, Jodie Slee, to reply to your top orgasm questions…

“How can I cum without watching porn or using a vibrator?”

“I feel like I masturbate the same way every time, is this ok?”

Jodie Says:

“Firstly, this isn’t necessarily a problem. If you’re ok with it, it’s ok!

“Having a preference for orgasms in a certain position or with a certain technique can lead to ‘sexual conditioning’, resulting in us finding it easier in the ways we’re used to. Sometimes masturbation or sex can become a bit like ‘scratching an itch’ rather than something we enjoy in a more present way. Make sure it’s enjoyable!

“On porn:
Porn is what’s called a ‘supernormal stimulus’ – a version of something we’re biologically predisposed to seek out – like food or sex – and making it ‘hyper-stimulating’, such as close-ups of penetration, group sex, double penetration: things you might not actually experience that often (or at all) in real life. This version of ‘reality’ is so much more stimulating and so we then find it more difficult to be stimulated by our memories, imagination, sex with a partner, to name a few examples.”

“In terms of toys or techniques, try to mix things up to build up the number of ways you can please yourself. Being patient and enjoying it is the key – the orgasm doesn’t have to be the only goal!

“In a long-term relationship it’s so easy to fall into a habit of the choreographed sex we hear of – the same moves, same positions, same noises… Sexual variety releases dopamine, which is a motivating hormone. So more sexual variety motivates you to have more sex!”

“Toys are wonderful things but try to have more than one so you can give yourself that variety and enjoyment. Basically, try not to do it the same every time, whether alone or with a partner”