Rediscovering Your Sexuality in Lockdown by Emily Valentine

Hi, I’m Emily, I’m an influencer in the Beauty, Sex and Wellness sectors. I love de-stigmatising and de-shaming discussions around sex and pleasure! I want everyone to own it and have un-guilty pleasure regardless of your relationship status.

Let’s talk about sex baybee. Coronavirus has had an interesting and at times negative effect on the sex lives of us Brits. The UK’s prudish approach to the sex lives of single people has been outshone by the Dutch government’s guidance, that encouraged people to find a “sex buddy” while the UK to all intents and purposes banned sex for anyone in a single-situ. So, whilst the singles have suffered, couples across the country experienced new realms of their sexual relationship. Maybe your sex life boomed in the boredom, or maybe it died a death and you were left to your own (vibrating) devices. Whether you were locked down with your long-term partner and need some inspiration for getting the spice back in the bedroom or you’re looking for new avenues to explore solo pleasure I’ve got some good counsel that will hopefully help you gain and maintain the confidence and pleasure your sex life deserves.

You Come First

You should always start by putting yourself first. Your sex life can only be truly fulfilling when you’re making your personal wellbeing a priority. If you are flourishing, so will your orgasms. So, let’s start by getting those serotonin levels up by implementing a bit of self-care into your routine. Self-care looks different for everyone, maybe it’s setting aside some time every day to do something you love like painting or reading. Maybe it’s cooking yourself your favourite meal. Maybe it’s dancing round the kitchen, singing to your favourite playlist at the top of your lungs. Whatever gets you going, and makes you feel energised will open your mind up to the idea of pleasure in every form. Next, set the mood. Run a bath, light a candle and get to know yourself. A sex toy bag staple - I recommend the Womanizer Premium for solo play (it’s waterproof as well okkkk). This happens to be one of the most popular clit stimulating products on the market and BOY does it live up to its reputation. It is a mega vibe that has escalating powers (when you need it) without needing to worry about numbing. It has 12 varying intensities, and you can pop it on autopilot mode so you can lay back and let it do all the hard work.

Dying to get back to it? First, ask yourself why.

If you’re struggling to even get in the mood for sexy time, with yourself or with a partner, go easy on yourself. In unprecedented times, the body can respond in unpredictable ways, but your libido is usually linked to your mental health. If you’re experiencing higher than normal levels or stress, anxiety or depression, you can see your sex drive fluctuate too. By dedicating time to solo sex, you can check in with your mindset before stepping into the world of couple’s sex again.

Ask yourself: Why do you want to have sex? Make a note of what comes up. Are you doing it because you want to? Because you feel like you have to? Make sure that you are having sex because you will get pleasure and satisfaction from it, not because you feel pressured or purely because it will make the other person feel good. What normally ticks all the boxes for you in bed might have changed recently. COMMUNICATION IS KEY. Tell or show your partner what makes you feel good and go from there. It can open up new worlds of intimacy when you show your partner what they can do for you, and vice versa. If you feel like you need some libido boosters or just some help getting into the mood, you might be interested in Dr Ed’s Libido Enhancing CBD oil or Exsens Angels Dream Pheromone Body Mist. Both of these products can help you to de-stress and relax into your pleasure to the full extent. Put the worries of life to one side and acknowledge that this time is only for you to feel good and get your rocks off.

Couples that vibe together

Maybe you feel ready to introduce a couple’s toy into the mix. Something like the We Vibe Unite Vibrator can be an interesting addition to sex with a partner. With a remote control, you can let your partner take control of your pleasure by exploring the touch sense control that shifts the vibration intensity along with your movements or how hard your partner squeezes the remote.

If you’re comfortable with incorporating a toy into your couples’ sex, you might be interested in dabbling with some light bondage or BDSM. If you’re a newbie, BDSM can seem daunting, but if you’re looking to rekindle the lockdown love flame, this may prick your ears. I would probably suggest starting with something like the double ended tickler/whip. It’s the perfect combo of “sexy and cute! Partnered with a blind fold, this can be an amazing way to heighten the senses and increase your pleasure