Sex and Breast Cancer by Lauren Mahon

Sex and cancer aren’t often seen in the same sentence, and although sexual intimacy can be difficult to navigate after a cancer diagnosis, women have every right to have sex and experience sexual pleasure during the diagnosis of cancer, and afterwards too.

We caught up with Lauren, an empowering and inspiring breast cancer survivor on the impact cancer had on her sexual wellbeing, intimacy, and relationships. Here’s what she had to say:

My name is Lauren Mahon - a born and raised Londoner, BBC broadcaster and proud founder of GIRLvsCANCER. I'm a pasta fiend, lover of Stath Lets Flats and am partial to perving over a young Ray Winstone. I use my platform to normalise the cancer conversation and tackle taboos around female health. If I can empower just one person to check their breasts or prioritise their orgasm as part of self-care then I'm doing alright.

What were the first signs of breast cancer you noticed that made you get in touch with your health professional?

I found a lump completely by accident, I have a small chest so in that respect I was lucky that I noticed it right away.

Once you received your cancer diagnosis, how did it affect you?

It completely rocks your world. I was a 31 year old woman with the world at her feet and then suddenly my life was uncertain. You go through some kind of bereavement process, having to say goodbye to life as you knew it and nobody really talks about that. My life was put completely on hold during active treatment. As I was unable to work my income was severely impacted and I felt so isolated not being able to have a social life and enjoy things like gigs and holidays. It really does pull the rug from beneath you.

Were your relationships affected after your breast cancer diagnosis, and were there any changes to your sexual wellness?

As a single woman going through breast cancer it ground my love life and capacity for relationships to a halt. I became really insecure and worried that people wouldn't find me sexually desirable or pity me for being ill. It meant I shut myself off completely to any kind of sexual activity and when medical menopause kicked in it was an entirely different ball game. Menopause meant my libido was non-existent and vaginal dryness made even the thought of sex incredibly uncomfortable.

How have the changes to your sexual wellness affected you, and do you have any advice for others going through the same?

It massively affected my mental health and wellbeing. For me sex is a huge part of my self-care and grounding into my body so having that stripped from me felt very heavy and to be honest really sad. The best advice I can give to anyone struggling with sex, during or after breast cancer, is to seek support from your oncology team and / or GP. You are worthy of pleasure and a happy healthy sexual relationship with yourself and others. The road to that is acceptance and prioritising your pleasure before you even worry about getting anyone else involved. Have the difficult conversations because they will lead to the change you want for yourself. And be patient and gentle with yourself. It's a marathon not a sprint.

Do you have any other advice, or support groups you used along your cancer journey?

Trekstock are an amazing charity for supporting young adults affected by cancer and deal with the trickier topics in a really accessible way. Also Sex With Cancer is an epic new organisation set up to support those whose sex lives have been impacted by the disease and have all the info and advice you could want. 100% recommend.