Natalie Lee: The Key to Sexual Freedom

Natalie Lee began her career as a midwife before starting her blog, Style Me Sunday, in July 2012. Over nearly a decade, she has grown her platform from a blog to a brand, and now reaches women across various different mediums. She has more than 100k followers on Instagram (@stylemesunday). Throughout this time, she has run events, co-hosted a podcast (The Everything Project), been a panellist more times than she can count, taken part in a television project about women's quests for better orgasms where she had an orgasm on TV, and worked with a variety of household-name brands.

Natalie’s new book Feeling Myself, How I Shed My Shame to find Sexual Freedom and You Can Too will be released in June and is available to pre-order now.

How much do you think porn has affected our view of sex and sexuality, including women's role in sex?

I think porn gave me an unrealistic expectation of what sex was. It was from a male gaze but I didn't understand that at the time. It gave me a reference, a guide on how to perform. And for much of my sex life it was definitely a performance. It was rarely about my own pleasure. Now I know differently. I pay for my porn now and watch ethical porn, made by women. Inclusive porn that doesn't make me feel bad about myself. I bloody love porn now!!!

What do you think of the orgasm gap, and what can we do about it? For example, women in same sex relationships statistically have orgasms more often than heterosexual women in relationships.

Female pleasure has been ignored for too long. It wasn't and maybe still isn't a part of sex education and that means that the focus from very early is not there. Women in same sex relationships report a much higher sexual satisfaction rate, so therefore we need to be teaching boys that orgasms are just as important for women as they are for men.

Are sexual confidence, sexual wellness and self-love interlinked? How can we work on these areas?

Yes, all these areas are interlinked. Personally, my sexual confidence increased when I felt more comfortable with my body. I had a lot of work to do to dismantle the notion that there is only one type of body worthy of being desired. Exploring my own body had a huge impact on how I felt about it and how I expressed myself when with a partner.

What's the best way for a woman to take control of her sex life?

Make time for self-pleasure. Learn about what you like and don't like. And be vocal when you're with someone. Don't assume they know what you like. Good communication is the sexiest thing on the planet.

Why is representation, inclusivity and diversity important within media, and brands when it comes to sex?

It matters because everyone has a right to feel included. Everyone has a right to see themselves represented. But despite that we haven't been. It’s hugely important that we see ourselves because it affects our self-esteem and makes us not feel like we deserve to be part of the club. It's about belonging. We all have a right to belong, feel welcome and included.