The Orgasm Gap by Dr Philippa Kaye

Orgasms. They make us feel good, are good for our health and can even act as natural painkillers, through the release of hormones and neurochemicals that help you relax, improving your mood as a result. An orgasm releases chemicals that can help you sleep, and the endorphins released are what make you feel good, it is also known that having more orgasms actually helps to increase your libido.

What is the orgasm gap?

Despite all of the above, the orgasm gap (also known as orgasm inequality) still exists, meaning that women are likely to have fewer orgasms in their lifetime in comparison to men. Now, it is important to remember that the number of orgasms you have are not the only marker of a good, healthy sex life, but it is clear that heterosexual women are likely to have fewer orgasms than their male counterparts. There is also a gap between the number of orgasms had in different groups of women, with heterosexual women having fewer orgasms than lesbian or bisexual women. Also, more women have reported achieving orgasm when they masturbate as opposed to with a heterosexual partner.

Why does the orgasm gap exist?

If orgasms are so desirable, why then does this gap exist? There are a considerable number of societal and cultural aspects which may be contributing parts of the orgasm gap. After all, for millennia one of the primary roles of women was to get pregnant and have children, whether or not they enjoyed the process was a separate issue! Think back to Victorian times, where women would not have been taught anything about sex, never mind orgasms or female pleasure. In fact, early electronic Vibrators and clitoral massages, were given by physicians in the late 19th century to cure what was called ‘female hysteria’, yet it was not considered to be erogenous or sexually stimulating.

Women’s sexual pleasure – still a taboo?

The idea of female masturbation is still a taboo, as we are combating years and years of ideas about women and sexual health. There is such a lack of education surrounding female pleasure, or even female anatomy, the first comprehensive study of the clitoris was only published in the last 25 years, in 1998! In fact, I don’t remember learning anything about it in medical school, I learnt where the clitoral head and hood were but no detail about the full structure of the clitoris. There are a number of sexual taboos that are in fact totally normal, some of these are addressed in the Ann Summers sexual taboos..

Why can’t I cum or orgasm?

The idea that sex is simply ‘penis in vagina’ penetrative sex is still very common. At least once a week I explain to patients that a high majority of women cannot achieve orgasms through penetration alone, and most of these women are left surprised as they felt there was something wrong with them due to not being able to orgasm.

To put an end to the orgasm gap we need more education, of all genders and we need more open discussion about sex, sexual pleasure and orgasms. Understanding your own body and knowing what you like and don’t like is essential for you to be able to discuss with a partner and show them, to hopefully begin to shrink that orgasm gap once and for all.