Sex can be so many different things to different people. It can be hot, sexy, comforting, exciting, naughty and nice, in equal measure. But there’s a type of sex that is important for all couples to make time for: romantic sex.
The notion of ‘romantic sex’ might conjure up images of old time movies and grand (some might say ‘typical’) gestures that are alleged to make sex feel romantic and loving. But romantic sex doesn't necessarily mean roses on the bed, champagne and the missionary position with lots of eye contact. Romantic sex happens when you love and trust the person you are with above anyone else. When there is no one else on Earth you would rather be making love to, and no one else on Earth you would prefer to be making love to you.
Sex is great fun, no denying that. A one-night stand can be fulfilling for the night when you just need to get your kicks, or friends-with-benefits relationships are a great way to get sex on tap. If you are sexually confident and liberated enough to enjoy sex with a person or people you’re not in a relationship with, more power to ya. Enjoy it and explore it – albeit safely! However, and you’ll only realise this when it happens to you, sex with someone you are madly in love with doesn’t feel like anything else. This is because you’re not only getting the physical hit of sensation, but you’re also getting the emotional hit too, and that’s where it’s really at.
Of course, even when you are in love with someone, that passion and ‘gotta have you now’ feeling is always going to plateau. You may still look at them and think ‘phwoar!’ but it’s more about loving each other’s company and building a life together. However, don’t let the passion die. If you still fancy them, get into it, and keep the romance flowing for incredible sex, intimacy, and closeness into your twilight years.
We don’t mean having sex anywhere but the bedroom (although we know this can be really fun!), instead it’s understanding that sex isn’t just about intercourse, and more about everything surrounding it. This means open and honest communication between you and your partner.
It might not sound like the sexiest thing in the world to sit down and have an in-depth conversation, but it’s important to understand that your partner is not a mind-reader. As much as we’d like to think that our lover is so in tune with us that they automatically know what drives us wild, the only real way to get what you want is to be open and honest.
Talking about sex may feel uncomfortable or embarrassing, but it’s a vital part of a healthy and romantic sex life. If there’s something new you’d like to try, if you feel like you’re left unsatisfied in some areas or you’d simply like to be a bit more open about your desires, take the time to have a relaxed, no-judgment chat with your partner.
Your messy bedroom might not look like the most romantic of locations, but with a change of bedsheets, some fluffy pillows and a few special touches, it can be transformed. Sexy scented candles, mood music, and your sexiest lingerie set will get you both in the mood.
Why not take it one step further and book a naughty weekend away? A change of location and knowing you’re making shared memories will add an extra layer of romance to your time together.
One of the key components to romance is intimacy. Only when you feel you can truly trust your partner can you really explore the different ways to be intimate with each other.
Romantic sex, no matter what you’re into, is all about the emotional connection you have with them. It’s important to be tactile in the lead up to love making. Never mind giving your partner attention only when you climb into bed with each other, making love begins long before you start messing up those sheets!. Lots of touching is always a good way to get your partner in the mood, followed by long and slow kisses. Why not try a soft, slow massage before a night of romance and intimacy?All that skin-to-skin contact and the anticipation of what’s to come will have you both pining for one another.
There isn’t necessarily a physical difference between sex and love making. The mechanics are the same, the noises are likely similar, and the physical sensations experienced probably much like one another. It’s the feeling that comes from inside when love making vs having sex, that’s the difference.
There’s a feeling of complete openness, vulnerability, and raw emotion that you don’t experience when it’s ‘just sex’. Feeling in love in bed outshines simple physical desire. When you love someone and you combine this with fancying the pants off them, you are in for some serious passion. You will begin to understand the meaning of making love when it feels like you are becoming one person in that moment. When you can’t get close enough to them, when you tell them in the height of passion that you love them and the rest of the world disappears; that’s when sex turns into making love…and you realise you’re in deep!
You just know. All those feelings we talked about above will overcome you and you’ll be completely swept up in that moment, like time has stopped just for you two. If you are looking for signs he or she is making love to you, they will look into your eyes, they will continue to kiss you deeply and passionately, they will pull your body closer to them and it will feel as though they want to devour you and make you theirs. The heat and intensity you feel will let you know your partner is making love to you and not just having sex, you’ll know when it’s deeper than just sex or a bit of fun, trust us, you will know.
Many couples find the excitement of trying new things together to be very romantic and a huge turn on. Exploring different ways to give each other pleasure can add a whole new layer to your sex life and help you to experience trust and romance like never before.
If you’d like to enhance your sex life but don’t know where to start, take a look at our Essential Sex Guides. We cover everything from beginner’s bondange to couples sex toys, and can help all kinds couples; from naughty novices to erotic experts.
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