What is Sexual Confidence?

Learn What You Like

It’s hard to be confident when you don’t know what you want. Spend some time practicing self-pleasure. If you know what you like in the bedroom when you’re in control, it’ll be easier for you to guide your partner towards the things you know you like. Masturbation shouldn’t be a taboo, it’s an important part of your sexual exploration (plus, you know, it feels great!).

Be You – Forget Everyone Else

It’s fine to appreciate other women, but there’s a fine line between appreciation and unhealthy comparison. So many of the women you follow on Instagram really don’t look like that in real life, so you’re not even comparing yourself to something that actually exists in reality. Follow accounts you can identify with – there are so many inspirational women out there who look like you do – it’s so much better for your confidence. Take time to celebrate what’s beautiful about you. This can help you to see yourself in a better light and learn to love yourself more.

Dress to Impress… Yourself

Worried about how to appear sexier for guys? Forget it, think about what makes you feel sexy! Forget dressing in the lingerie that you think your partner wants to see. Wear something you feel confident and sexy in; this confidence will do so much more to turn your partner on… the lingerie will do the rest.

Be Kind to Yourself

Any confident and happy person must love themselves. When you look in the mirror, take some time to compliment yourself and consciously stop any negativity – talk to yourself the way you would talk to your best friend. Make sure you’re not the person who makes you unhappy. This general mood will carry itself into the bedroom.

Look After Your Body

If you feel unhealthy and think you need to hit the gym, do it. If you feel like you need to do some grooming, get it done. Whether you’re right or wrong, sitting back and not doing the things you want to do will only make you feel guilty. Just make sure you’re doing it on your own terms because you want to.

Start the Conversation

At Ann Summers, we believe that women should be able to talk freely about their desires in the bedroom without the fear of judgement. Talk to your partner, tell them what you want and ask them what they want. Chat to your friends, compare stories and notes. You’ll soon start to feel liberated and lose some of that doubt in the bedroom that can drain confidence.

Experiment with New Things

Open the door to a world of sexual exploration and try something new. This is even better if both you and your partner are first timers, after all, if you’re both beginners there’s no reason to feel self-conscious (not that there would be anyway). Experiment with your first sex toys, try your hand at tantric sex, or assert some control with bondage.

Brush Up on Some Tips

If we want to take control in the bedroom, as women we must work together. Sharing our knowledge is the best way to blow our partners’ minds and show them we mean business. Brush up on some blow job tips to raise the bar in bed. Your new tricks might encourage him to raise his game the next time he goes down on you.

How to be Sexier? Be Yourself!

The key to feeling happier in any aspect of your life lies in becoming comfortable with yourself and taking the time to practice this daily. Learn some sexual confidence affirmations that you can repeat to yourself when you’re struggling to get past your self-doubt. For example, think about how you’re happy with the pleasure that your body can give you, rather than concentrating on any negative thoughts about how it looks.

The Pleasure Positivity Project is about women standing up and taking control of their sexuality. It’s about feeling free to say what you want and to go get it, without the fear of being judged. We want to create a place where women everywhere are provided a platform to be openly sexual and confident.

Most of all, remember that YOU are the key to your sexual confidence. It might not come overnight, but it will come. And when it does… so will you!